FLASHBACK -- 5 YEARS AGO CHRISTMAS EVE -- A classic never dies, does it??

From John Curry, December 24, 2008

Night Before STRS Christmas

2003

"Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the STRS house

Not a creature was stirring, not even a louse;

The stockings were hung by the chimney with care;

In hopes that more bonuses soon would be there;

The board members were all nestled snug in their beds,

While visions of more entitlements danced in their heads;

And Betty in her 'kerchief, and Jimmy in his cap,

Had just settled their brains for a long winter's nap,

When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,

Jimmy sprang from the bed to see what was the matter.

Away to the window he flew like a flash,

Tore open the shutters while stumbling over cash.

The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow

Gave luster of mid-day to the "bennies" below,

When, what to his wondering eyes should appear,

But a miniature bank account, and eight tiny reindeer,

With a little old driver, so lively and quick,

I knew in a moment it must be Gov. Dick.

More rapid than eagles his spenders they came,

And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name;

'Now Michael! Now, Jackie! Now Debbie and Gene!

On, Joey! On Hazel!, on Herbie and Stephen!

Now spend away! Spend away! Spend away all!

As plastic credit cards that before the wild investigation fly,

When they meet with a question, maybe they lie;

So up to the Palace (95 mil.) the spenders they flew,

With a bank account of full of money, and Gov. Dick, too.

And then, in a twinkling, he heard on the roof

The spending and traveling of each little goof.

As he drew in his head, and was turning around,

Down the chimney Gov. Dick came with a bound,

He was dressed in OEA garb, from his head to his foot,

And his clothes were all garnished with airline tickets and soot.

A bundle of bennies he had flung on his back,

And he looked like a bureaucrat, all dressed in his black.

His eyes-how they twinkled! His vetoes how merry!

His promises were like hollow, any investigation he would bury!

His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,

His control over the ethics commission we'll all never know!

The stump of a subpoena he held in his teeth,

And the smoke it encircled his head like a wreath;

He had a poker face and a little round belly,

That shook when he governed, like a bowl full of jelly.

He was chubby and plump, all clever and shrewd,

And just removed enough to stay away from the feud.

A wink in his eye and the ink in his pen,

Would insure that the retirees plight wouldn't end.

He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,

He controlled his legislative puppets, just like a jerk,

He sprang to his sleigh, to his cronies he gave a whistle,

And they all flew away like down on a thistle.

But I heard him exclaim, 'ere he drove out of sight,

"I've got to stop in San Francisco before the end of the night.

Merry Christmas retirees, I love you!-And-Happy New Year!"

2003 Cast of Characters

Jimmy & Betty - Jim Petro and Betty Montgomery (former STRS Board members who were thankfully removed from the Board, compliments of SB 133 (Ohio Pension Reform Act...now in the Ohio Revised Code).

Jackie, Debbie, Gene, Hazel, & MIchael - Jack Chapman, Deb Scott, Eugene Norris, Hazel Sidaway, and Mike Billirakis ..... all former OEA officials of various capacities and all now convicted of criminal charges by violating Ohio ethics law.

Joey - Joe Endry - Former Executive Director of ORTA and former STRS Board member who was convicted of violating the Ohio ethics law.

Herbie - Herb Dyer - Former STRS Executive Director who was convicted of violating Ohio's Ethics law.

Governor Dick - former Ohio Governor Robert Taft who was also convicted violating Ohio's Ethics law.

Stephen - Stephen Mitchell - Then and now STRS's Chief Investments Officer - Even though many worry about our investments people leaving for greener pastures....Steve's still here, isn't he?

Some will say that this writer should be a little more positive and thankful on the Eve before Christmas. OK, I'll take the hint....I wish to say that I am very thankful for Dr. Dennis Leone. Now, Dr Leone is an STRS Board member who still is busy exposing misspending, mismanagement, and an entitlement mentality that still raises its ugly head every now and then at Ohio STRS.....doesn't it?

John