2009 New Year’s Resolutions for STRS*

..1. Resolve that the STRS Board, Retirees, Active, OEA, AFT, State Legislature, and Governor will find a way to make health care affordable to the retirees and spouse.
..2. Resolve that the STRS can improve their communications regarding the financial assets so that the retirees can easily see the monthly gain or loss without driving to Columbus to acquire this information.

..3. Resolve that the STRS Investment Staff will win the Ohio Lottery so that the PBIs are not necessary to maintain their lifestyle.

..4. Resolve that Dennis Leone will seek another term on the STRS Board representing the retirees who depend on his information regarding the activities of STRS.

..5. Resolve that "Black Friday" becomes a normal work day for the entire STRS Staff.

..6. Resolve that Mr. Nehf becomes more aware that the older retirees are hurting with lower interest income, lower investment assets, loss of 13th check, and will re-evaluate the 88% and 35 year retirement plan.

..7. Resolve that STRS reduces their dependency on consultants that 'Say" what the STRS Staff "Requests" them to say.

..8. Resolve that the STRS Board becomes a visible group that will discuss their opinions in public rather than stifle multiple opinions.

..9. Resolve that the need for CORE is eliminated due to rapid changes in the STRS Board and STRS Associates.

10. We resolve to find funds to pay for the medical care of spouses who were homemakers and can not afford the STRS insurance.

11. We resolve to find methods that prevent the board from "gag" actions to keep other board members quiet.

12. The STRS Board vows to stabilize the health care fund. It hands out free cigarettes to retirees (historical note: each smoker saves Medicare $100,000 by dying early).

13. Investment Associate: I promise not to smirk when they hand me my $70,000 bonus check after I lost $210,000,000 million on my investments.

14. We resolve to stop referring to the building immediately east of the OEA building as "the clubhouse."

* Some of these are tongue-in-cheek and should be taken with a grain of salt.