You might be working for the STRS investment department if……

..1. You sit on a throne instead of a chair.

..2. Your closet, cabinets and desk drawers are all stuffed and overflowing with hundred dollar bills.

..3. You work bankers' hours and a 37.5 hour work week.

..4. You ride to work in a chauffeured limo outfitted with every cutting edge luxury imaginable, including a sports bar.

..5. Your desk is made of solid gold embedded with diamonds, rubies, sapphires and emeralds.

..6. You own six homes, nine cars and a Lear Jet.

..7. The only sound heard in your board room is that of rubber (and occasionally the voice of a lone dissenter).

..8. Your personal wealth increases in inverse proportion to that of the retirees.

..9. Your board grovels each time a union boss enters the room.

10. You never see, let alone communicate with, the peons who sacrifice to provide the environment for your accumulation of personal wealth.

11. You say or think "Let 'em eat cake" at least once a day.

12. All the banks in town can't insure your funds because they are so vast.

13. You can "spike" your pension with the accumulation of bonuses.

14. You can retire with OPERS "Cadillac" healthcare and pay 1/10 the premium that STRS retirees pay.

15. Your annual PBI is enough to feed 500 retirees for one year.

16. You and your boss walk on water.

[Joke; spoof; from a retiree]